Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage

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Do you pay more attention to your Facebook and smartphone than your husband? Have you been avoiding sex lately? Do you hide some minor things from your partner? These behaviors all hurt your marriage. But it’s not too late to change bad habits. Here are some worst relationship mistakes and how to start fixing them today…
Habits often become so ingrained we don’t even notice we’re doing them. Whether your bad habit is a minor annoyance such as cracking your knuckles, or butting of your finger nails, or something more serious such as smoking,it takes conscious effort and smart planning to break the cycle. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you can’t break it on your own.
1. Write down details surrounding your habit(s). Keep a notebook around to log your habit. Anytime you perform the bad habit or feel tempted to do it, write down a description of what you were doing and how you were feeling when it happened. This will help you consciously.
Does the bad habit happen more often when you are stressed or nervous?
Does it happen more often (or less often) at certain places or during certain activities? These are the factors you need to know.
2. Get rid of temptation. Addiction on any level – social media, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping or gambling – can sour a marriage fast.
Try to avoid objects, places, and people that make you want to fall into your bad habit. Your habit notebook should help you identify these. Gradually minimize your stay on such places or rather stop attending to it or them. Because habits are often performed with barely any conscious thought, it’s much easier to remove the stimulus than to stop the habit with pure force of concentration.
If you’re trying to avoid eating junk food, move any junk food in your home out of the kitchen and other snacking areas, to a more difficult-to-access location. When shopping for food, avoid walking through the aisles that contain tempting junk food, or follow a strict, healthy shopping list and don’t bring any extra cash or a credit card.
If you’re trying to avoid checking your cell phone all the time, shut down the phone or put it in airplane mode. If that doesn’t work, turn off the cell phone and put it in a different room when you’re at home. Much more be sincere to yourself to practice all these.
3. Add something unpleasant to the habit. Your addiction quickly becomes a third party in your marriage. This gives you incentive to stop, and prevents you from picking up the habit unconsciously. When feasible, this can be very effective.
For habits that aren’t easy to make unpleasant, put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against the skin to cause mild pain each time you catch yourself giving in to the habit. Funny isn’t it? but it works because you will not want to snap yourself often.
4. Replace a bad habit with a good one. Picking up a new, more positive habit won’t make your old one disappear, but a new ritual and source of pleasure can make the old one easier to break. So stop, and think about what you really value and how your addictive behavior is affecting your relationship or marriage
Many people find a daily exercise routine or jog becomes similarly satisfying once they’ve turned it into a habit.
Some bad habits have a “good habit” opposite that you can focus on improving, which some people find more rewarding and easier to keep up than breaking a bad one. For instance, to avoid unhealthy food, challenge yourself to cook a healthy dinner a certain number of times per week. Addictions are powerful. You must first want help before pursue counseling. “Once you are on the road to recovery, you’ll be in a position to work on your marriage” Bahar says.
5. Surfing Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc when you could be with your partner is a bad habit. Stay vigilant during tempting scenarios. If you find yourself in a situation where it’s easy to return to the habit, repeat “don’t do it, don’t do it” to yourself in your head. If you know it will happen in advance, come up with a specific plan for exactly what you will do. Have a conscious effort. These conscious efforts can make it much easier to suppress unconscious habits that you would otherwise do without thinking.
For example, if you’re quitting smoking, plan on getting up and making yourself coffee or chatting with your partner. If a friend starts pulling out cigarettes during a conversation, think to yourself “no thank you, no thank you, no thank you” in case she offers you one.
6.Make your bedroom a device-free zone, agree with your partner on a set amount of time when you will surf the Internet or play Words With Friends. Make mealtimes device-free too. It fun when you do this with your partner.
So many couples are focused on gadgets and not on each other. Your gadget is not going to provide happiness Don’t let your phone seduce you into neglecting your partner. Reward yourself when you don’t fall into your habit. Reward yourself for meeting your goals by taking a break for a fun activity. Associate success with positive feelings and experiences, not with disappointment that you didn’t get your fix. You might need to try several rewards before you find one that works. Try setting an alarm for fifteen minutes from now each time you use one of these rewards. When the alarm goes off, ask yourself whether you still crave the bad habit. If so, try a different reward next time.
7. Meditate to help re-program your own mind. Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you are likely to fall into your bad habit, stop whatever you’re doing, and meditate for a few minutes always be conscious that you want to do away with that bad habit. Take a mini-vacation. Breaking a habit can be much easier when you’re put in an unfamiliar environment, possibly because your brain is no longer able to go on your normal routine. Take a weekend trip somewhere and focus on setting yourself a new routine.
8. Once you are on the road to recovery, you’ll be in a position to work on your marriage. Call in the help of friends and family that you have respect and value for. The people you see regularly, and people who have integrity in the society, as long as they take your efforts seriously. Ask them to help you enforce the changes you are making to your lifestyle, and to call you out when you slip back into that particular bad habit. Seek professional help. If your bad habit is having a serious effect on your life, get professional help.
Make sure you enjoy your marriage and not endure!!!!!!!!!!!
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